We have a wedding to go to on Saturday and we went clothes shopping tonight. How depressing. I just dont feel comforable dressing up anymore because I hate the way I look. Pretty crappy. I used to have great style. I have never been a size 6 and honestly never wanted to be. (I think girls who are the size of Paris Hilton look ghastly.) But I did used to spend alot more time on the way I look. I used to have more money to spend on it too when I was a single girl who had nothing to spend her money on except me. I was pretty materialistic really. I spend loads of money on getting my hair done and on new clothes. I think the money is much better spent now but I do miss how I used to feel. Sexy. Desirable.
I'm confident in different ways now. I can discuss so many different things when it comes to saving the lives of animals. I give advice on cats to people quite often. I do adoptions and talk to all kinds of people about bringing in cats. I like that I have gained all these abilites. I just dont like the feeling that I have lost something. I think sometimes I put so much into rescueing cats I forget it's not a crime to take care of myself, to put some time and effort into making myself look and feel good. That's something I need to work on.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
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